“Til Death Do Us Part.”
That’s the promise we made at the front of the alter at Glenwood Lutheran Church. Everyone watching as a witness as we spoke our vows.
We promised to take care of one another. To have each other, to hold….
til death do us part.
Well, crap.
But here we are, two years later and still adjusting to life, still pivoting, still living. Life goes on, and I have to face the triggers, the situations, and the chaos that sometimes occurs. I have to expect the unexpected.
A few weeks ago, I received my first wedding invitation, post-…. “dead husband”…??? (I really have no idea what to call it without using more than five words and even then, it gets to be too much.
Post-becoming a widow (sounds sad)
Post-Brandon dying and me becoming a widow (even more sad and more wordy)
Post-Brandon (sounds like a breakup)
Any who, I knew the invite was coming. Kind of hard when you’re supposed to have a “forever wedding date” and they ghost you…literally.
(It’s okay to laugh.)
But it sucks. Brandon was a fun wedding date. He was the chauffer, letting me fully embrace my ‘passenger princess’ vibe, which I did with each drive to any destination. He’d drop me off at the front door to the wedding venue so I wouldn’t have to walk so far in my high heels through a parking lot. He was the entertainment at the table, with his big laugh making others love him instantaneously. He made me feel seen and safe when I felt anxious about being in a room full of strangers or even if there were some people we knew. Brandon was considerate, carrying our things (mostly mine) or even jumping in to help load up wedding gifts with the family of the newlyweds.
He was that guy.
Sitting next to him at a wedding would cause me to fall in love with him all over again. He’d be happy to hold my hand the entire time. Sometimes even giving said hand a kiss on the back numerous times just to let me know “I got you. I love you.”
Now, I am completely honored to be invited to this wedding. I’m thankful for being considered and not someone to be pitied. There are times I feel like it’s possible for someone to think, “She’s a widow. She’s not going to want to come, it’ll make her sad and we’d have wasted an invitation.” Like I’m a broken person and I’m gonna kill the whole vibe.
Nah. That’s not me. But am I anxious about it? ABSOLUTELY. This would have been a super easy-no thinking involved kind of event if Brandon was here.
Now? It’s a bit of a challenge.
Do I want to go? YES. 100%
Do I stay overnight? YES. It’s a 2-hour drive one way.
Do I take a plus one? ……Well, I don’t know.
“Take Emma with you!” -It’s a kid free wedding (no judgement on that BTW)
“Go by yourself and have fun!” -Have you met my anxiety?
Yeah, I know that second one is an excuse and I really need to learn how to be alone more often. But you can’t blame someone for not wanting to be alone at a wedding when they had their “forever wedding date” for almost 17 years.
As I’m still navigating being single in 2026, I am hopeful (but really ALL my best friends are uber hopeful HAHA) that maybe someone might come along by the time this wedding approaches. And if not, I’ll figure it out. I’ve learned to adjust my life and pivot with challenges that come into my lane.
Life is short. Do the hard thing. Maybe this time, I can be the fun wedding date.
You Can Do Hard Things 
I can completely relate to this post. My first wedding invitation came only three months after Steve’s death. I went to the ceremony, but could not go to the reception.
Grief and sadness and even envy overtook me. I was very happy for the happy couple, but had to take care of myself in that moment. Weddings have always brought up so many emotions, and in that moment, there were plenty.
Be gentle with yourself, Kelsey. It is a process, isn’t it?
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